The doctor had just finished examining the very attractive young girl.
Doctor: 'Have you been going out with men, Miss Jones?'
Miss Jones: 'Oh. no, doctor, never!'
Doctor: 'Are you quite sure? Bearing in mind that I've now examined the sample you sent, do you still say you've never had anything to do with men?'
Miss Jones: 'Quite sure, doctor. Can I go now?'
Doctor: 'No.'
Miss Jones: 'But why not?'
Doctor: 'Because, Miss Jones, I'm awaiting the arrival of the Three Wise Men.'
Graduate Accountant
A young graduate begins working in the office of a fusty manufacturing concern. After a few weeks he has an accounting problem he can't solve. He goes to the Chief Accountant and shows him the problem and asks for help. Later in the day through the open door, he watches as the Chief Accountant reads the report, opens his bottom desk drawer and stares down at something in the drawer and then writes the instructions.
Years later, the young graduate becomes the Office Manager. Again he has a problem, writes it up, and takes it to the Chief Accountant. Again he watches through the open door as the Chief Accountant studies the problem. The drawer is opened, the long stare, then the writing of instructions.
The Office Manager puzzled over this for many nights. Years pass. The Chief Accountant is about to retire. The Office Manager comes into say good-bye but his curiosity gets the better of him. "All these years I've seen you stare into that bottom drawer. What's in there?"
The Chief Accountant says, "Since you will be my successor, I can show you what was left for me by my predecessor when I came here 20 years ago."
He opens the drawer. A note is pasted to the bottom of the drawer. It reads:
THE DEBITS ARE ON THE SIDE CLOSEST TO THE WINDOW!
Accountant and the Business Owner
There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"
The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician said "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."
The attorney stated "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."
The trader asked "Are you buying or selling?"
The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice "What would you like it to be?"
Two Accountants in Bank Robbery
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "it's that $50 I owe you."
Qualified Accountant
The company personnel department had carefully interviewed thirty-eight people for the job of assistant to the financial director.
The chief executive thought that one candidate - Charles - seemed ideal. Charles had been to a major public school. Not only was he a qualified accountant, but Charles also had a masters degree in business administration. He seemed fully aware of the latest creative accountancy techniques.
'Charles,' said the chief executive, we've decided to offer you the job. And as you're so well qualified we've decided to start you off on a slightly higher salary than the one advertised. We'll pay you 36,000 pounds a year.
'Thank you,' replied Charles. 'But how much is that per month?'
Apparel units’ owners, workers protest against yarn shortage
